Credibility

I was reading today about the prophet Elisha in 2 Kings, and wanted to know more. So of course, I went to my trusty google search and typed in "Elisha" - after filtering out the closely pornographic photos of a certain blond actress, I hit on the links of various bible-history.org, biblestudy.com, bible-this-and-that websites. What struck me was the utter and complete lack of credibility these websites had. There was no accredation, no endorsement by my church, nothing really to say that these interpretations and historical backgrounds are accurate.

Yet it is so easy to just hop onto the website without thinking, grab whatever information I want, probably print it out for the bible study I'm leading next week, and off I go.

If you thought going to my church's website would help, it didn't. Redeemer Presbyterian is oddly lacking in helping me understand what information out there on the web is credible or not. An affiliation or stamp would really be useful here.

This plays into the larger conversation I had earlier with a colleague, about the rise of citizen journalism on the web and blogosphere and news-by-twitter. For all the benefits of mass democratization of internet ownership, there is also a huge issue of credibility and reliability.

Hug-a-lot?

The NYTimes published an article on the front page of the website about this crazy new phenomenon spreading amongst teenagers. It's called hugging. Apparently it warranted the calling in of sociologists, psychologists, and other experts to deconstruct why teenagers are now hugging each other as oppose to high fives.

I'm sorry, high-fives, but you'll have to move into the corner of has-been trends along with the mop while you watch the hug and the swiffer bask the limelight of cool.

Seriously?

It's hugging, for pete's sake and it's nothing new. I hugged in high school and that was a good ten years ago. There was nothing substantial in this article to warrant an entire story. If there was a sexual harrassment charge stemming from what started out as an innocent hug, then okay. But instead, there's George G. White junior high school, which banned hugging altogether. Ridiculous.

Locked Out

I had drank one too many vitamin waters and was jones'ing for a local facility to relieve myself. But did anyone notice how public washrooms in New York City is a scarce resource? Don't even bother with local banks, or convenience stores, and when it comes to the coffee shops - you have to buy something. I tried going up to a random floor in an office building but alas, locked out.

In the pursuit of happiness

Okay, it's an official rule that anyone who uses Fray music at the end of an episode will guarantee at least a shimmer of a tear in my eye.

For those of you who caught last night's episode of Brothers and Sisters, how satisfying and yet sad an episode it was.  For me, it just felt good to see the writers wrap up a season of lack-luster storylines.  The Justin/Rebekah breakup was hogwash.  The Tommy departure: hogwash.  And Kitty's affair? Don't get me started.  At the same time, I don't think we've ever seen the Walkers so divided and weak.  Tommy is missing, Kitty is acting like her father in the worst possible way, and Ryan Lafferty is a black spot on the family sponging off Rebekah and playing them all until he cracks - and whammo!  I half expect him to strap himself with a bomb and blow up Ojai foods.  Or maybe he's just a Robert Pattison wannabe.

My biggest gripe: Kitty's affair.  Whether or not she slept with Alec, she was having a full-fledged affair.  Did the writers think we'd forget about that porch-swing kiss at the end of last season?  What happened?  She just decided to go home afterward?  I don't think so.  There is nothing that justifies what she did, not even Robert's unyielding ambition.   But isn't it funny that as soon as Kitty start acting out in her own way, Robert is back to being the family man we knew and loved?

It broke my heart in episdoe 318, "Taking Sides," when Robert breaks down crying in the bedroom after telling Kitty he's just "fine."  That, for me, was the climax of the season.  That's true character tension, and I wish they had explored this further.  Instead, we have this half-baked attempt to translate the conflict to Kitty, as she checks out of her marriage and checks into the Ken-doll at the park. It was too easy.  It was too typical.  Kitty was always smarter than that, and I think her fall from grace could have been handled less obvious ways.  The realization that she ended up being more like her father than her mother, in this episode, almost made up for it.   It boggles my mind how people manage to remember conversations their parents had years ago on the phone, when they weren't even really paying attention.  If I could think really hard and recall small details like that about random conversations my parents had years ago, I'm sure I'd be able to put the pieces together of old family secrets, too.  I can't even remember the name of my grocery guy (who I've already asked multiple times), but that's just me.

Then comes the whole Ryan Lafferty issue.  Okay, does anyone else find him incredibly creepy?  Maybe it's his Twilight'esque hair and complexion (i may not be a tween, but all that brooding is the opposite of hunky), or his delusional view that he's in a relationship with Rebekah - who, by the way, should be smarter than this.  Rebekah's been around the dating block or two, if I recall my first season correctly.  As if she didn't realize all the little hints that little brother has the hots for her.  Come on, that look of surprise on her face when he kissed her was entirely a waste of a spawn of Holly.   Combined with her father's warning about Ryan, and I have a sneaking suspicion that something dark lie-a-beneath this Ryan Lafferty.  If his mother could take such extreme measures in her despair, then perhaps he has the same tendencies - although this time, he'll take it out on someone else.  The sins of the parent revisiting the children is something we're definitely familiar with here at Walker Landing.

Finally, Sarah.  Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.  Traditionally one of my favourite characters, my heart almost broke for her as she admitted her loneliness.  I'm curious to see where this will take her, and am loathe to solve all her problems with that "soulmate" she longs for.  No, that's too convenient.  There is a deeper lesson her and I want the writers to explore it for her.  A juicy set-up for next season, perhaps?

As for Tommy, he only deserves a footnote on this post.  We found out, thanks for the LATimes, that Balthazar Getty's character wasn't receiving the permanent ax.  Norah's one-track-mind leading her straight to Mexico had me thinking on overdrive for the opening scene in next week's season finale: Norah Walker, sits on the side of a hospital bed, clasping her son's hand as he wakes up from his drowse.  That's right, Tommy Walker contracted the swine flu.  Ha.

how close am I to overmedicating on self-help?

Very.

I'm attending this class here at SIPA called "Women in Power." The professor, Carolyn Buck-Luce, is an amazing and influential woman who brings in some of her most influential friends to tell us their stories and give us advice. Through this class, I've become acutely aware of "CSR-speak," this entirely new language comprised of cute alliterations, metaphors, and catch-phrases meant to get you thinking about an issue in a new light. It's like three months of Tuesdays with Morrie. Allow me to illustrate:

1. The Goldilocks Syndrome - describing how the reality for women is that they're either too much of this, or not enough of that.

2. The Career Labyrinth - rather than facing a Career Ladder, the path of ambition for women is shaped more like a labyrinth where they face walls and turns and have to navigate without knowing which direction they're going in.

3. On-Ramps and Off-Ramps - women, driving in the fast lane of their careers, can suddenly head toward an off-ramp and get off track.

This morning, I find myself clicking onto the website of an Ariane de Bonvoism. She talks about the first thirty days as the most critical for affecting any change. Whether you want to master use of an ipod, or change your career, or learn how to play guitar hero. Thirty days. It's like the female version of Tony Robbins, minus the weight loss success story and the aerobics-instructor microphone strapped to his head. I should add her onto twitter.

one week

One week ago, I turned 26.  One week ago, I decided what I was going to do with my summer (decision made: staying in NYC).  One week ago, I found out that I was granted funding for next year as a teaching assistant.    In about a week, I will be writing my final exams. Victories and defeats, all within one week.
 

SIPA Follies!!

I'll take Hannah's prayer over Jabez's anyday

I don't get what all the hype was about. The Prayer of Jabez sucks, if you ask me. First, he causes his mother immense pain in childbirth, Then, he prays a simple two liner to God:

"Oh, that you would bless me and expand my territory! Please be with me in all that I do, and keep me from all trouble and pain!"

And God granted him his request. Just like that.

Justapose that against Hannah, who is barren for most of her life and ridiculed by her husband's other wife. Let's forget the polygamy for a second and consider that Hannah cries bitterly for years for a son. Eventually God "remembers her plea" and grants it to her - but what's awesome here is Hannah's response:

"My heart rejoices in the Lord!
The Lord has made me strong.
Now I have an answer for my enemies;
I rejoice because you rescued me.

No one is holy like the Lord!
There is no one besides you;
there is no Rock like our God.

Stop acting so proud and haughty!
Don't speak with such arrogance!
For the Lord is a God who knows what you have done;
he will judge your actions.
The bow of the mighty is now broken,
and those who stumbled are now strong.
Those who were well fed are now starving,
and those who were starving are now full.
The childless woman now has seven children,
and the woman with many children wastes away.
The Lord gives both death and life;
he brings some down to the grave but raises others up.
The Lord makes some poor and others rich;
he brings some down and lifts others up.
He lifts the poor from the dust
and the needy fromthe garbage dump.
He sets them among princes,
placing them in seats of honor.
For all the earth is the Lord's
and he has set the world in order.

He will protect his faithful ones,
but the wicked will disappear in darkness.
No one will succeed by strength alone.
Those who fight against the Lord will be shattered.
He thunders against them from heaven;
the Lord judges throughout the earth.
He gives power to his king;
he increases the strength of his annointed one.

- 1 Samuel 2:1-11

I'm going through the Old Testament, and seeing the overall pattern of nothing except that when people are wicked, they eventually perish. But where they are righteous and honestly seeking the Lord's help - He will grant it, eventually. Sometimes the Lord's help comes easily, sometimes it comes after many many years of sorrow and strife. Consider Job. Or Naomi. I suppose I've been thinking a lot about fairness and God in light of the rampant economic hardships these days. I've been thinking about how hard life seems to be - how much i have to work and pray and try and put it all into this big black box and then squeeze my eyes and hands together and HOPE. But I must hope lightly, because I've learned that the Lord gives and takes away according to His will, not mine. I've learned that no amount of prayer can change God's timetable: sometimes it aligns with yours, sometimes it doesn't. Finally, I've learned that you can't manipulate God. You can only do your part in trying to be the best person you can be and from there, it's God's call. But you can't manipulate Him to change your destiny or how He will use you, and you certainly can't manipulate him into rushing. You must only be prepared, humble, ready to go when he calls and patient to wait when he doesn't.

For now, I wait.

Getting back to it.

So, this week I had a meltdown. One more job rejection was the last straw on the proverbial haystack. This economic crisis sucks.

But, like my mom said, you have to just pick yourself up again. You have to keep swimming, have to not take anything personally, and you have to persevere. I've never been more unsure of the future, and yet more sure that I'm presently where I'm supposed to be. How ironic.

Tomorrow is a new day, a new week.

Capoiera

Sometimes the best things in life are the ones you stumble upon.  No, I'm not talking about the "stumble upon" web tool that introduces you to random websites, I'm talking about the gym!  Last night Amanda and I were determined to check out the Columbia University Muay Thai kick-boxing club.  Unfortunately, no one showed - except a mouse.  It was kind of creepy.  Half an hour later, we were taking informal lessons from the Ikaedo club member and I learned a valuable lesson: being relaxed isn't the same thing as being dead.  Sounds benign enough of a statement, but it's actually quite philosophical.  Begrudging the track, we craved a fun workout but exhausted our options after watchin the kayeking club circle around in the pool, veto a $40 purchase of squash rackets to play on the squash courts, and witness unusually long skinny male legs from the table tennis club.   Just as we were about to give up, we ran into a friend who is part of the Capoiera club.  They were friendly, unassuming, patient, and thoughtful to newcomers - it was so much fun learning something new! 

Now I understand why the word "arts" is included in "martial arts."  It's such a beautifully elongated type of game - so of course, I looked it up on youtube.  Ignoring my immense want for an ice-cold coke or pepsi, this is a pretty good video showing just how cool Capoiera is.  Does anyone else notice the similarities to break-dancing, or am I just being retarded? 

talented piece of canadian hotness!

sometimes i want to protest SIPA administration, too.

Live TV by Ustream

If NYU isn't affordable anymore, what makes you think Columbia University is?  I've been staring at this President and Provost Fund application all night now, trying to decide it would be worthwhile to take a stab at going through their herculean obstacle course just to get some funding for an event I'm trying to organize here on campus.  Earlier this week, I managed to get screwed over by the Dean's office on amounts they promised to fund a student group I'm a part of.  They failed to transfer anything into our account and it wasn't until we had an overdraft (how you can have an overdraft in the first place is a sore lack of controls) that we realized something was amiss.  I have a number of problems with this.  First, the culture here at SIPA is that if you're looking for any funding on student groups - you'd might as well be asking the emperor of Japan for a palace in the middle east.  The unspoken message is this:  we don't like students. 

You ask too much, all the time, and don't belong here.  Get out of my way and just let me do my important job here at Columbia University.  Deans at SIPA completely fail to remember that it is our tuition that pays for much of the operations - how do i know this?  Apparently the endowment is down 90%.  So where could the money come from for their investment projects such as Manhattanville campus and the brand new Apple Computers littered everywhere in the building? 

Taken. A V-day Treat!

Okay okay, I know what you're all thinking. What the?! Liam Neeson trying to be Jack Bauer but better? You betcha. No Aslan this time, but in some ways, just as fierce. I can't tell you how happy I am that bf and I didn't go see a chick flick after our dinner at Chez Josephine last night (which, by the way, was sorely lacking. The last time I had sweet potatoes mashed to mush was when I was 3 months old and a squabbling baby).

Taken is one of the best movies I've seen all year, and tops even the Bourne Identity. Yes. I choose Liam Neeson over Matt Damon's abs. There's a trifecta for good action movies and it goes like this: plot + 3D characters + lotsa killing. Every once in a while, I do crave big explosions, gunfire, kung-fu kicking out of glass windows, and of course - a decent torture scene. But these alone won't make a good movie, they'll just make a decent trailer. What makes Taken so amazing and had me on the seat of my recliner movie chair was Liam Neeson's believability as an emotionally vulnerable father who just happens to be a ruthlessly trained killer. What a combination.

haircuts are a good thing.

Deferring

When we were about eighteen years old (and obsessed with self-analyzing), we came up with these ridiculous relationship-centered definitions for ourselves. They were another way of identifying who we were, based on what we needed in a relationship.

For Dez, her assigned motto was that she, "needs a man that she could defer to." Yesterday, she declared to God and the rest of the world that that man would be Kevin Lee.

"Defer to? What the heck does that mean?" my eighteen-year-old self said incredulously. Can turned to me, prequeling her wisdom with the trademark phrase, "The thing is, Andy" and offered to enlighten. "It means she trusts him to do what needs to get done, even if she could do it herself." If anyone knows Desiree, they know her to be extremely competent. And it's not because she's a doctor, it's actually because she's Dez and the doctor jacket just fit the person. The running joke throughout all the bridal showers and wedding speeches was Dez's lack of cooking skills. As one of the few people who've eaten Dez's cooking, I actually don't think she's that bad. We used to cook dinner for each other while living together at Queen's (some of my fondest memories were in that slanty, squirrel infested house), and I remember eating a pretty good stew on occasion. And she sure could stir fry up a mean beef and broccoli. More than that, she always knew how to keep the wok oiled - and how to operate the slow cooker. All of which is evidence of someone who doesn't deserve to be butchered about cooking.

In fact, I've never known Desiree to not be able to do anything. Growing up, she drove us in her little red car everywhere. To our first real lunch at the Cheesecake Cafe, when we were fifteen years old and in the midst of our first set of final exams. To all of our subsequent birthday dinners. To our first road trip.

So then I still didn't understand why she would need someone to defer to. Why defer? Why not, "Desiree needs someone she can trust?" Tru turned to me, her head slightly tilted to the side and in her quiet unassuming voice said, "An, deferring to someone connotes something so much more than just trust. For example, Dez needs someone who can do her taxes, not because she trusts them to be able to do them but also because she WANTS them to do it for her."

The phrase hit home. In the years I've known Desiree, I've known her to be capable, consistent, and confident. Characteristics which are not traditionally "see-mun," - the chinese embodiment of the "it" girl - if you give it a quick character sketch and read some of our high school epithets. But if you consider her name, Desiree, it also connotes a part of her that only few get to see. It's the part of her that is a woman, soft and quiet and supportive and wise. It's the part of her that seeded that day on the grassy knole across from her pink Edgemont house and continued to grow throughout her courtship with Kevin and will continue to flower in their marriage for the rest of their lives. It's the wife, who defers to her husband.

Congratulations, Desiree and Kevin Lee. I love you both.

Happiness

Happiness is just outside my window
Would it crash blowing 80-miles an hour?
Or is happiness a little more like knocking
On your door, and you just let it in?

Happiness feels a lot like sorrow
Let it be, you can't make it come or go
But you are gone- not for good but for now
Gone for now feels a lot like gone for good

Happiness is a firecracker sitting on my headboard
Happiness was never mine to hold
Careful child, light the fuse and get away
'Cause happiness throws a shower of sparks

Happiness damn near destroys you
Breaks your faith to pieces on the floor
So you tell yourself, that's probably enough for now
Happiness has a violent roar

Happiness is like the old man told me
Look for it, but you'll never find it all
But let it go, live your life and leave it
Then one day, wake up and she'll be home
Home, home, home 

- The Fray

It's exam time.

Of course, it's exam time. And what that means is an increase in random discovery of youtube videos and cool websites. For each day until my last exam on December 17th, I promise to put something entertaining and procrastination-worthy online. Just because it's exam time.

A sign of the times

Honestly, watching this video pulled my heartstring. If my father ever had to resort to begging on the streets for money (as this guy is doing, even if he's wearing a suit) I don't think I could take it. Sure, I might be willing to scrimp and save and stretch my meals because I'm a poor student - and I might be willing to openly advertise my desperation for some extra cashflow or an internship - but I would never, ever in a million years ever want to see any dad or mom, or grandparent lose their pride. Maybe it's the chinese in me, but it's just not right. Our parents should be enjoying the prospects of early retirement; they should be splurging on cruises and nice dinners now that the kids are out of the house. They shouldn't be doing this.

hahvahd and bawston

This thanksgiving weekend, Josh came down to visit and we took a road trip to Boston, MA. Stayed with Josh's Aunt, Uncle, and cousins over three nights - ate, ate, and ate some more - did a lot of walking, trail hiking, shopping, wandering. My favourite moment: getting matching Harvard shirts in the Coop and seeing whether we could fake as Harvard grads with fake Bostonian accents, asking for more "chowda" everywhere we went.

killers new album: day & age

I am so proud of myself everytime I walk into a record store and actually purchase a new album.   It means real commitment; and shouldn't be taken lightly.  Usually it takes me a good 2-3 months of wanting an album before I actually cough up the $12-15.  I know.  I'm a fickle music purchaser like Sally was a fickle eater.   It's a big deal for me to get an album, not just because of my lowest-tax-bracket student status, or my lack-of-storage-space-NYC-resident status, or even my still-afraid-to-use-itunes-online-for-more-than-just-listening-to-music late adopter status.  It's because when you get an album, you have to put it on your shelf.  And if you put it on your shelf then you have to stare at the spine everytime you're typing and your eyes wander up to your bookshelf.  And if something is going to be on my bookshelf, it'd better be a good representation of my character.  What if you died tomorrow, and the police inspector is going through your room to find clues?  I always watch those scenes on CSI and wonder what kind of conclusions Grisholm would come to when inspecting my personal belongings or even - gasp - my trash.  I don't want them to think I'm an Atomic Kitten fan, or worse yet - a die hard Kate Voegle follower.   No.  If a cd is going to grace my bookshelf then it'd better be a decent buy.  If only to justify not buying that Joseph Stiglitz book over the music.

But I digress.  Back to the Killers.  To be honest, I wasn't a fan of the Killers until I saw them in concert.  They're really one of those bands that needs to draw you in with more than great marketing, a few radio blockbusters, and that "cool rock band" feel.  If you're actually going to invest in more than just downloading a few of their hits, you have to really experience them live.  They're fantastic live.  Even though 88% of the concert was seen through this tiny triangle space between someone's neck and someone else's shoulder that kept swaying back and forth in a tiny sweaty room packed with other sweaty college kids, I still became a believer in their talent and their music.

So what's the verdict on their new album, Day & Age?  Honestly, a little slow.  Not the same pull in bite as Sam's Town's opening and closing numbers, and the first record "Losing Touch" has a little Miami Vice / Las Vegas kind of feel to it...but it warms up later on.  Halfway through the album on "This is Your Life" starts out with these voices that reminded me of when Boyzone went to Africa.  Decent bass, lyrics, rhythm (and harp?) resurrect in "I Can't Stay" with something finally new, something I haven't heard from them before and yet is characteristically Killers.  It's good.  A couple other better numbers near the end of the album, but I swear they're trying to do what Leona Lewis did on her first album: bring back the 80's. 

It's weird, but I'll take it.  Decent, but I give it a 7 out of 10 overall.   Let's see if the Fray surpasses with their next album, set to be released early February 2009.  What's with the uber early pre-order date?