My last weekend in D.C. I had a great time Friday night. We went to this tapas restaurant called, "La Tasca" and enjoyed San Grias and good company. I can't believe I'm leaving in just four days. There's still so much left for me to do...there's still so many lessons I must internalize, so much praying to do, so much time that needs to be spent with others.

And I guess i've been feeling kind of frustrated with people. My parents yelled at me because I didn't call home for three days. Well, I DO call home but everytime I do I get the damn answering machine. I hate talking to the answering machine. And it just feels like I'm not allowed to grow roots anywhere because I'm always attached to something in my past but not so completely that I can claim ownership or belonging. I think this is how they coined the term: baggage.

On the other hand, I found out that some things have been going on behind my back that I wasn't aware of. It's like I'm constantly caught out of the loop, and I think i've decided to just stop trying to be IN the loop anymore. I don't care. I hate this constantly trying to broach and broker peace with others, trying to reach out to them. I'm sick of always being the one reaching out and breaking down walls in others - don't they realize it makes ME vulnerable and i'm not doing this because it makes me feel good, i'm doing this because someone has to. If you want to open up, then that's your perogative but don't do me any favours from now on. I'm done making the gestures. I'm done being the nice person. Geez. I'm pissed off, and i don't care who knows it.