Let me rant about people for a second here. I don't know about you, but I trust very few people on this earth. They consist of:

(a) God
(b) my family
(c) my closest friends


...and that's about it. Period. A lot of people have really disappointed me in the past, and i'm sure more will come. So i guess the question is, how far should you go to limit your trust in people? And i guess another question is, can you live with people - hang out with them, have fun with them, generally share your life with them - and not trust them?

Because i see it all the time. I see people, who have certain misgivings about other people, and still want to spend time with them. How can you DO that??! I don't understand it. If i spend time with you, it's because I WANT to. I could never understand a friendship of convenience...i'd rather be alone than be with someone I am neutral about. I've discovered that about myself, and i think it definitely means loyalty is huge to me (it also means i'm a very impatient person). If I consider myself your friend, then I will do anything for you. What's more, I feel as though my *friends* are genuinely people I LIKE. I like them for who they are, not what they represent. And that's a major difference in the way certain people see others.

I've noticed that a lot of people see others as a "means to an end." They think of others in terms of what they can do FOR THEM or what they can offer them......they think of them as "that's the taxi driver" or "that's the girl who knows about X so i should stay friends with her to learn about it" or "that's the girl who knows other people so i want to know her".....it's so high school and so incredibly immature. It's also where a lot of people are stuck, whether they're 15 or 25. They are quick to make judgements and so their behavior to others is irratic. These people you cannot trust. They will easily stab you in the back, just as easily as they will say warm and fuzzy words of friendship. Is this being cynical? Probably. But i think i've been burned too many times to not try to protect myself from these kinds of people.

Then you'll meet the "selfish" people. And how can you sniff these people out? Easiest way is to test them in the context of MONEY. How a person treats money and the sharing of money is a great indicator of how selfish they are.

There are also those who will avoid being "the bad guy" at all costs. This becomes really sketchy because i totally share that too, i'm a people pleaser at heart. But i also hate beating around the bush (and wasting time, energy on pretending) so I would rather be the bad person and just SAY things when they need to be said. I hate how people shirk responsibility just to avoid taking the rap....they'd rather leave people in the lurch, laugh about them in the shadows and behind people's backs, make faces when they're not looking, than just fess up about how they REALLY feel for fear of what? Of confrontation? Of a sticky situation? That's just being cowardly, and I really don't have respect for people who refuse to take up the gauntlet because they don't want to claim responsibility or take the consequences for standing up for something. Hmph.

I'd like to think that I see people as stories. Everyone has this potentially amazing story about themselves...about their family, where they're from, what they've experienced, what they know. It's like, for me, people are this incredible opportunity to learn from...i like to think that I treat everyone equally, no matter whether they can offer me something or not. I'm not sure how well i live up to that statement, but at least it's a start to want to. I don't claim to be perfect, but right now I'm pretty happy with who I am.